THE DEVELOPMENT OF A CHANNELER or I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS
I knew that I had to change my curriculum. I pondered the courses I had taken sorting them out to find what I liked best. It seemed that Psychology was my best subject. However, I discovered I had a mental block. In blunt terms, I was literally afraid that, if I got into the field of Psychology, I would find out things about myself that I did not want to know.
Although it sounds ridiculous, this issue created a great deal of conflict for me. I had never contemplated that there were things about myself that I didn't know or didn't want to know. I anguished for weeks on the matter but kept being drawn back to Psychology as the subject I liked best and at which I excelled. I finally came to the conclusion that if there were things about myself that I didn't know, they were affecting me anyway so it would be best to know whatever it was. In truth, I did discover more about myself than I ever imagined but it took a few years.
With the conflict settled, I continued reading Jane Robert's books and other psychic related books. During school, I never had time for outside reading and was only able to do so during breaks.
With the resumption of the next school term, I was in the field of Psychology. I didn't discover any startling revelations about myself so I thought my concerns had been unfounded. Little did I know at the time that every aspect of what I learned would push me in a direction that would open doors that had been closed all my life.
I completed my Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and started looking for a job. They didn't exist. I even looked at substandard work in the field but nothing was available, not even for someone who had graduated with honors.
In looking back, it is obvious that an outside force was disrupting my job aspirations. This is demonstrated by the fact that I had a successful job interview at a mental health center in a distant city. The director, the boss, was very impressed with me and tried to get me a position. He even called me several times at my residence trying to work out details for several different positions because he wanted me on his staff. However, it never happened. Not even with the director wanting me on the staff. In a mental health center, the director is usually the final authority on who gets hired. Thus, I can only assume that an outside force was influencing the situation and disrupting the normal flow of events. This was not the first external manipulation. It is clear to me that my strange illness was too although I wasn't aware of it at the time.
So, after several months, I found myself at the local university and in Graduate School. Outside forces were shaping my destiny and I didn't realize it. THE DOOR WAS ABOUT TO OPEN.
IT DOES GET MUCH MORE INTERESTING!!!!!!!